You are now entering...The Breast Files

*Queue the ominous music*

Welcome. I'm your host the DragonLady...most people call me Nadia. While you're here in my humble blogland, call me the DragonLady. Mainly because I'm the crotchety old woman who lives alone with her dogs and yells at people to get off my lawn. It is an exaggeration because no one gets on my lawn except the postman and me when I walk said dogs. *Hunches up my shoulders*

Anyway...I've decided that I wanted to try and document this messed up ride called Breast Cancer. The lump was found during my yearly well-womans exam to make sure the lower half of me was straight. It caught me completely off guard when my Gyno was doing the breast exam and asked if this was normal. I thought she was referring to one of my many skin tags until I felt what she was referring to. Noooooo, that ain't normal. (Oh just so you know...I'm southern so you'll get more of that lingo than you will northern. Only been here almost 4 years.) Anymawho... It was this hard mass just sitting right above my nipple. So let me just say...I'm gonna say words like breast, vagina, nipple, fuck, and shit...This is not the time to be a prude or even gutter-minded. I'll be as technical as I can get without going overboard but I refuse to dumb myself down because some of you don't understand. Feel free to hit the Bitch mail. I'll be happy to read your response but also know I reserve the right to refuse to respond. My spot. My rules. Don't like it.... fuck off!

Anyway. She found the lump. Had her schedule me a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. Both of which came back for suspicious tissue. Had to have a biopsy two days later. Found out the next day, it was Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Nottingham Grade 3. What does that mean? Cancer of the lactation ducts that happens to grow rapidly (that's where the Grade 3 comes in). I have to see my surgical oncologist this coming Friday to discuss treatments. I have some ideas of what I want to do but I already see the blessings in disguise. Next Memo...I am a believer in God and Jesus Christ. Don't bring your atheist asses around here talking mess about there isn't or even questioning me about it. I'll be happy to tell you where to go with that mess. Again, refer to the last sentence of the above paragraph. Where was I? Oh, the blessings. I had no idea the number of folks that are with me in this. I'm a single female living in a suburb of Cincinnati, OH. My family is back in Texas where I am from. The idea that I wasn't alone in this just overwhelmed me. I haven't even begun to meet the community of breast cancer patients or survivors. Seeing that I have an actual support system who isn't my family took me by surprise and made me a little teary-eyed.

There's fear. I'm afraid of the unknown and God allowed exactly what needed to happen for me to take my hands off the steering wheel and let Him do the driving. He is also teaching me that I don't need to worry about tomorrow because there are enough worries in today. I'm also afraid for my mother. My sister will be making the trip up to help me and my mom, my 85-year-old mother will be back in Texas alone. She told me to not worry but how can I not? She has her own health problems. There's a reason she is living with my sister. For my sister to leave one to take care of the other seems lopsided but my mom didn't want me to be alone. I wouldn't have been, but I know with my sister, there will always be someone here.

I have ideas about my treatment but I'd rather address those as the issues come up. I really wanted to take this time to introduce myself and say Welcome to the Breast Files...