So I'm Just Being Violated

When I started on this breast cancer journey, the RN practitioner asked if I wanted to take a genetic test to see if this lump was genetically predestined. That was the day of my first appointment with the surgical oncologist. I got my results back.

Negative for all genetic mutations.

I'm so elated to know that this doesn't run in my family. I'm really happy that it saves my sister from this. What I am not happy about is that my body is betraying me! It took it upon itself to grow or mutate these cancer cells. Again, back to my immune system playing the accomplice. I have no words for what is really going on...

It's like this thing grew overnight. I didn't feel it. It doesn't hurt. It isn't affecting my health other than the obvious. Up until the other day, I've been able to live each day in denial. I'm aware of the diagnosis but because I am not being directly affected by it, I operate in the mindset that I am still okay.

Is that healthy? No, it probably isn't. Is it good for me mentally? Hell yeah it is. I don't want this thing to take anything else from me. I refuse to let it take my happiness. I refuse to allow it to make me become a victim. Yes, I am victim, but I refuse to act like one.

I have a condition called hyperprolactinemia. Layman's terms...the gland that secretes my prolactin is in overdrive which caused my breast to leak without ever being pregnant. I have been taking medication for it for some time now. I'm thinking that the carcinoma is a result of it. I'm not sure. Just an educated guess. I won't ever know what caused my cells to start mutating. All I know is that my genes weren't a factor. Small victories. One of a million little miracles. At this point, I'll take what I can get.