Day4...The Waiting Game

When I was younger my mother used to try and get me to wait. Waiting for me was like missing the best commercials that came on during the Super Bowl in the 80s. I just wouldn't do it. She tried everything. Until one day she said, "Girl be patient." Me being the little knucklehead I was retorted, "Can't be patient." She tried to give me that stern look but she couldn't stop herself from laughing at me. It's a joke within our family now but then it would get on her nerves.

That's where I am at right now. That little girl waiting. Can't be patient. Just so you can get a true idea of me saying it...imagine little me saying "cain't be patient!" Yeah the ain't version of can't. Cain't be patient. There's another lesson in this from God. He's fixing my patience. I never really had any to begin with. Once a person has had a taste of instant gratification, it becomes addictive like a drug. Looking for the next fix. I hate instant gratification. This world has become obsessed with it. That's why there is a such thing as participation trophies. People who don't deserve a prize need to have something to commemorate the fact they were there. How is one satisfied with that? How do you become so complacent to the fact that you didn't make a mark in the competition but still want recognition for being there? If I compete, I'm gonna place and if I don't then that means I need to work harder to get the coveted prize. Not some damn participation trophy.

I want to get this competition going. Breast cancer isn't a race; however, it can be compared to one. IDC -let's just call it that from now on- has a head start. I will say about two months. It's had time to grow and cause issues. Here I am, finding it and now having to wait until I can get into the doctor's office to try and get into the game to defeat it. This is the best time too. I'm primed and ready to substitute but I cannot because it isn't my fight to win. It's God's. He's the coach, the playmaker, and the referee. I'm the queen. He moves me into play when He needs me. The powerful piece on the chess board because she can move any way, in any direction on the board; has no power here. I have no move until He says so. So I'm stuck in my square until He requires me.

I imagine God is sitting on His throne looking down at me saying, "Girl be still...(His version of Be patient)". I'm in my square looking up at Him saying, "Cain't be patient"... But have no choice because He hasn't moved me yet.

The irony of life.